This is a post from last year that I wrote. I had it on my mind and figured it bore repeating. We must make a conscious effort to always be building up, not tearing down…😊 it may be the very difference between our home “making it and thriving” or being destroyed and cast down.
What have you done to build your marriage/home today? I saw this quote a long time ago... it struck me like a slap to the face. What had I done to help my home? Uhhhh....
It’s so easy to just get caught up in the everyday grind. Sometimes, we forget or neglect to do any “building” projects....especially when it comes to marriage building. Our pastor once said - there is no neutral ground! if you aren’t actively building your marriage, you automatically, by default, are allowing it to go to ruin...
Look at an abandoned house—it may nice and beautiful in the beginning. But come back by that same house a few years later after it being empty and unmaintained... it is almost unrecognizable!! The same is true with marriage. ( it may appear to be a storybook wedding/marriage in the beginning but left unmaintained, in a few years, that perfect dream home becomes a nightmare of hurt, anger and bitterness. All due to lack of maintenance and T.L.C.... ) You must maintain it ! Work on it!!
We often underestimate our power as wives. We wives have to be determined to put aside our own selfish wants/desires and love/submit to our spouses as unto the Lord...We can be a incredible influence on our husband in our submission, our acceptance, and unconditional love for him.
We should be our husband’s biggest fan—his loudest cheerleader ! We can be his own personal prayer warrior to help him as he endeavors to become a man of God! Our positive attitude and pure motives can either be helping build up the man God blessed us with or our poor attitude and evil motives can tear him down... this is power in the tongue!! Go read James 3... you can’t say you love your husband and then rip him to shreds with caustic words.
Proverbs 14:1 KJV Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. (I don’t think it would hurt the text any if we would substitute the word “hands” for “words”)
Words are cheap and easy to fling out when we are upset or are “in a mood” but sometimes we forget that old illustration about the toothpaste.
(how it’s easy to squeeze it out but nearly impossible to put it back into tube. Even if you try, there will still be residue that can’t be undone) it’s the same way with our words.
We may say something in anger and later apologize but even if we are forgiven, sometimes there are verbal scars left behind that didnt have to be there if we would have only been more cautious of our words !! Never use words as weapons!
Especially on the man you are supposed to love more than anyone in the world ... despite how rough, tough, and seemingly unemotional that men appear to be, they are, in fact, fragile... God knew men were not made to be outwardly emotional so he gave them wives to be help meets to them — to help them stay grounded emotionally. In Proverbs 31, the Bible says: The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. …
One beautiful example of this kind of trust was apparent in my late pappaw and his wife... when my pappaw was very sick in the hospital with cancer, his wife was there around the clock. One morning, I came in to find them fast asleep - She had slept in a chair situated right beside his bed- with her head leaned over on his bed so both of their heads were touching as they slept ( I still don’t know how she was able to sleep like that ! but they both looked so peaceful! I actually snapped a picture - which I still have!) later, she needed to run home to shower and change clothes... my mother, my uncle and I were all there in the hospital room with him. We told him we would stay with him until she got back. I bet she hadn't even made it to the car in the parking lot before he started saying “ Where’s Linda at? Why is it taking her so long?!!” I bet he said that at least ten times or more... we were all there and trying to keep his mind occupied but he was anxious and agitated until she walked back into that room. The minute she walked back in, instantly there was a calm that came over him and he settled back down. (No, it wasn’t because he didn’t love his son, daughter, or granddaughter, but his heart did safely trust in that wife.) Her presence brought him comfort and peace.
Please don’t ruin that! That husband’s trust is something precious!! something fragile... once it is broken, it’s very hard to repair !! Your husband should be able to be confident that you are 100% behind him and supporting him. He should never have to wonder if you are “in his corner”.
I have blessed to have had wonderful examples of strong Godly marriages all around me growing up which I greatly benefited from. I have worked hard in the last 15 years of marriage to try to learn from the examples around me and from the Word of God on how to be that kind of wife.
I was in a group of ladies one time and the subject of husbands came up. One by one, the ladies all had a story to tell. All of the stories were either negative about their husbands or something making fun of their husbands. It made my heart break that they didn’t realize the impact of their words. I wonder how those husbands would have felt if they would have accidentally overheard that conversation. Another lady mentioned she thought how all men are bad— that’s when I had had enough... I spoke up - “Well, I have a good one!” “Well, not everyone has a fairytale ending like you”, was the reply...—————————————————————
No, it’s not that I just have a fairytale marriage! It’s been a lot of hard work, tears, prayers, forbearing, forgiveness, and ultimately, God’s grace that has given us the marriage we have today. I’m not going to lie and say it’s been easy— but boy, has it sure been worth it!!
Early in our marriage, I committed myself to the Lord. I asked Him to make me a true “helpmeet” to my husband. Have I been a perfect wife? Absolutely not! I have failed time and time again... but I haven’t quit trying — I want to “ do him good and not evil all the days of my life.”
So I leave you with this same question....
What have you done to build your marriage/home today?
Come on, women of God! Let’s put on our hard hats, tighten that tool belt, grab a hammer and some nails and go to “building up” that husband- and “building up” our home !! We need more strong marriages and Godly homes in this hour!!
-Tiphanie
✨Friend, If you find yourself already with unmaintained home, it is never too late to grab a lawn mower, a paint brush, a sheet of drywall or some weed killer.... dirty, ugly, rundown, and broken homes can usually be restored with a vision, a plan, determination, hard work, and commitment!! God can turn your mess into a dream come true! Give Him the pieces! Remember He is the Master builder!! Follow His plan and commit your marriage, your home, your life, and your will to HIM... and He will turn this trial into a testimony... in the end, people won’t even be able to believe it is the same home after He gets through!!
This image below is an powerful visual attesting to the amazing power of restoration and transformation.
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