Respect as a whole is something that I believe has diminished throughout the years in our society...People have lost respect for their fellow man and they have been even lost respect for their own selves. Today, however, what I want to focus on is “respect for our husbands”. Respect in relation to our husbands is truly under attack in today’s world...So many homes start out good and end in disaster because men and women are not being taught in how to treat one another. God has specific roles for the husband and the wife in a marriage. When we stay within those roles that God has ordained for us, we have happy marriages and good homes. Respect is something I believe that should be mutual between all members of the family, but I especially want to focus on us ladies today...
Like I mentioned yesterday, God gave the husband the reponsibility to be the leader in the home. Not only is he called to be the spiritual leader, but he is the one tasked with decision making as well. God never intended for us women to have to bear the weight of the burden of being the decision maker. We often are ill-equipped to make large decisions; we are often far too emotional for that big responsibility but that doesn’t mean God intended that we shouldn’t be allowed to be involved! Our part in the decision process could be to help our husbands lead by providing them with information that will aid in their decision-making but recognizing just because we provided that information, doesn’t mean that our husbands will always use that information and make the choice we would like him to!
When he chooses not to consider our information and/or advice, we should let him take responsibility for the decision, be it good or bad. Never, ever say “I told you so" or words to that effect when a decision he has made has gone bad. When he makes good decisions, thank your husband for his wisdom and for taking on that burden in your home.
One lady once said this —“Just as you need the man in your life to love you unconditionally, even when you’re not particularly lovable, your man needs you to demonstrate your respect for him regardless of whether he’s meeting your expectations at the moment.”
Without respect, our men feel demoralized and discouraged. They lose their ability to have confidence in themselves and in their ability to handle all of the responsibilities that come with being the “head of the home”... A disrespected man will never reach the full potential that God had for him... When we disrespect our husbands, whether intentional or not, we are actually physically tearing down his ability to become the man God intended for him to be.
What Respecting Your Husband Cultivates...
Now that we know men need respect like the air we breathe, let’s talk about the benefits of showing your guy respect.
Respect creates trust.
Respect expresses to him that you trust him. Respecting that man is more than just lip service... it is a heart service!
Respect allows leadership skills to grow.
Respect acknowledges his ability to lead. I sincerely believe passive men would cease to exist if we, as the women, would take a step back and surrender our will to God’s ways—If we would trust the men in our lives to be the leaders God created them to be.
Respect ignites courage.
When you respect your husband and show it to him, you enable him to have the confidence and the courage to “be the man.” He isn‘t worried about push-back from his wife or how this decision he just made is going to wreck havoc in his home.
Your respect models respect for your children and the next generation.
Showing respect to our husbands teaches our daughters and our sons what a respected and respectable man looks like and what that man is capable of. In this “me too” movement and this cancel “PC” culture, the pendulum swung so far to the left, the men of this generation are becoming less protective and more passive than ever before. They are afraid to be men! They are afraid to be the leaders of the home! They don’t want to be labeled as a sexist, a male-chauvinist, a bigot, or something even worse. This world has blended the genders so much that much of the traditional men’s culture has been deemed animalistic, archaic, or barbaric...
It’s becoming far too rare to encounter many modern day superheroes-– loving husbands, and good fathers like the courageous men of the past because this toxic culture is telling our young boys not to be men!
I recently went looking for a pair of black dress pants for my husband. My husband likes just the normal, pleated front, creased down the front, classic fit dress pants so that what I was in search of...I was so shocked at how hard it was to find traditional men’s dress pants. I was amazed at how far even the fashion of men’s clothing has veered to the left. I was astonished to see that cropped to above the ankle, skinny legged, figure hugging dress pants was the new popular fashion of dress menswear !! What??
It appeared as if the models were wearing pants that belonged to a small child. I was flabbergasted that the blending of genders and the loss of masculinity was so evident in men’s clothing today...
The gradual decline of masculinity over the last several decades has led to the men accepting this kind of appearance as the norm!
God created men to be men!! He designed for a a man to strong and rugged, not sissified, and weak! God wanted a man to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with their God in all they do...
Micah 6:8—He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?
Respect His Abilities as a Provider
Respect his abilities—his ability to provide, his ability to parent, and his ability to love you.
In today’s world with a culture more concerned about having as many, if not more, women, minorities, and special interest groups employed in positions of authority in the work force, our men have had to struggle to earn a good wage and some have become passive even in the workplace. Job positions in the workforce today often are no longer awarded based on merit ans skill but rather, if you fit a particular demographic, or are part of a minority or a special interest group...As a result, the average man is often underpaid, underemployed in his skill set and underappreciated for his labor even when he is a hard worker...
Often, we as women don’t realize all the pressure, anxieties, and discouragement that our husbands experience each day out in the workforce. We shouldn’t pile on more when he gets home!!
By just showing respect to her husband, a wife can provide positive encouragement and even provide strength to the spirit of her man. When a wife is disrespectful to her husband, demeans his abilities, and is constantly picking at his weaknesses, that husband will feel discouraged and defeated... He is incapable of doing what she want or needs. He begins to think, “What’s the point? She will do it her way anyway. I can’t please her!” Respect His Abilities as a Parent Not only should we respect our husband’s ability to earn a paycheck, no matter if he’s a janitor, a mechanic or a CEO, we also need to respect the way he parents our children.
Never ever voice a disagreement with your husband about parenting in front of your kids. If you both aren’t on the same page in parenting, wait until you are alone with him and very respectfully and prayerfully approach him to discuss the matter...and hopefully, you both can come to an agreement about the parenting issue in question. If you give a voice to that disagreement publicly especially in front of that child, you are disrespecting your spouse!
I have witnessed homes that when the husband started to try to parent the children in a Biblical way, the wife threw a fit. She let her opinion be known right in front of that child (and whoever was close enough by to hear🤦🏼♀️). She undermined that Daddy’s authority over his children to where the kids saw Mom as the “good guy” and Dad as the “bad guy”...
The Bible has a lot to say about parenting and what that husband and wife should have done was sit down and study the Word of God together to come up with a game plan of parenting. They should have trusted God to help them get in the same “parenting page”. The Word of God will work. If we will follow God’s commands, our homes can be a place of peace, harmony and joy.
Mamas, never allow your children to play you against their dad. I’ve have saw this countless times as well. Kids are masters at manipulation, sometimes, and if you aren’t careful, we can easily fall into this trap. We have found a way to combat this in my home— if our kids come asking one of us something, my husband and I both will say “what did your mom say?” Or “what did your dad say?” Often, that question alone will deflate the manipulation! Our kids have come to realize Mom and Dad agree. What Dad says Mom will back him up and enforce! And vis-versa. Does that mean we both are perfect and we always agree on everything when it comes to the kids? Absolutely not! But we have determined to discuss any disagreements or differences just between the two of us and not in front of the kids...
Another thing, Mamas, if Daddy has a rule or something that he requires or the kids do something that he wouldn’t allow/approve, don’t hide it from him. That is the worse thing you can for your kids!! If you condone or allow your kids to do things Daddy has forbid, you are disrespecting your husband to the highest degree!! God put him over the spiritual protection of your home. He is the one designated to stand “guard duty” ! He will stand before God for what he allowed to come into your home. If you just want to be your child’s friend/confidant, and if you go behind your husband’s back, and allow your children to do stuff that Daddy has forbidden or you hide things from their dad to “protect” your kids, you are going to have to give account before God of why you circumvented His design and why you thought you knew better than God. Please don’t ever allow the Devil place in this area of your home. Support that husband in the area of parenting. He may not always handle everything perfectly but neither do you! Allow God to make you “one” in this area! Your kids will greatly benefit from both parents having a united front guided by the Bible.
Respecting our husbands is such a powerful way to help build up our men!!
The enemy knows that a respected man is a strong man. That’s why Satan fights us women so hard about “respecting our husbands”.
A man who is respected by his wife is assertive in leading his home with God directing his steps. He is unafraid to be the man! He is assured by the quiet support and encouragement of his wife that he is “more than enough” with God’s help. He will grow in wisdom and mature in the Lord the more she respects him. It’s amazing how something seemingly so simple can be so powerful!!!
10 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband
1. Speak good of your husband to everyone.
2. Focus on what he does well. Praise him for his strengths. Don’t dwell on or nag him for his weaknesses—just pray for him.
3. Realize you married an imperfect human being and he’s not going to ever be perfect! Have patience. Give him some grace...
4. Think before you speak. Harsh words or words spoken in anger never help a situation or strengthen a relationship!
5. Be kind and gentle — full of grace and patience !! Kindness really does matter... Sometimes when that husband knows he doesn’t really deserve it, but you extend kindness and gentleness anyway, you are no more like Christ than in that moment. You are exhibiting the character of God to your spouse! Displaying that kind of character in that situation will often convict that undeserving husband and he will become better due to your Godly actions— instead of your fleshly reactions !
6. Consider your tone of voice before you speak and be cautious of what you say. sometimes, it’s not what we say, it’s the tone we say it in. You know what I’m talking about!
7. Show him that you trust him completely with your heart, your home, your future, etc.
8. Build him up with your words. Tell him what you admire about him. Thank him for his strengths. Affirm his ideas/dreams. Encourage him in his disappointments and mistakes.
9. Consider him in all your decisions. One good way to show respect to your husband : Don’t make plans with others until you check with first. Don’t be out running around (without good reason) if your husband is sitting at home waiting on you. Your first priority is to that man of yours. Everything else is secondary! If you want a good home, take care of the man God had blessed you with.
10. Pray for him daily!
Come on, ladies, let’s allow the Lord to help us in this area! Let’s get back to building up our husbands and building up our homes according to God’s Word!! We need strong, Godly homes that are build on the the Word—homes that are built to stand the tests of time !
-Tiphanie ❤️
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