Here is a continuation of the previous post.....it got super long so I broke it up into two separate posts.
So back to dealing with those difficult people in our lives..... (if you haven't read last week's article, you may want to do that before reading this post for clarity) https://tiphaniesizemore.wixsite.com/mysite/post/dealing-with-difficult-people-the-biblical-way
Let's review our text--
“If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, And the LORD shall reward thee.”
Proverbs 25:21-22
So in essence, our verse in Proverbs is saying that by meeting the needs of our enemy, we "shall heap coals of fire upon his head, And the LORD shall reward us.”
That sound pretty vindictive, doesn't it? At least, that's what I used to think as a young person....
"yeah, God, this is great. I will do my part and help them because you say so and then, You are going to reward me for it and they are going have judgement-- piles of heaping coals of fire upon their heads!! Get them, God! Pour the fire on their heads!! "
But upon reaching maturity and further Bible study, that kind of thinking couldn't be further from the true meaning of this passage. (Howbeit, as satisfying as my original interpretation would be to the flesh!)
You see, in Bible days, they didn't have street lights and commercial lighting like we do today. When it got dark, it was pitch black. If there were some reason that they must travel at night, they would place clay trays or pots filled with red hot coals from the fire upon their heads to serve as illumination to light their way on their treacherous path. So essentially God was saying, when you do good to those who do evil to you, you are heaping coals of fire upon their head so they can see the path more clearly. They will be able to see where they veered off the path. Your actions just may be the light that person needs to navigate through that difficult terrain in their life.
So the act of heaping coals of fire upon the head upon your enemy was not a cruelty or vengeance like it initially sounds, but was in actuality, bestowing a undeserved kindness upon your adversary.
But that's not all, there is another implication there too:
For you see, before the invention of matches, lighters, and the ability to make fire instantly, a fire had to be started with either flint or rubbing sticks together to make a spark that could be coaxed into a flame and then fed with small bits of dry wood, leaves and such to allow for a good roaring fire to blaze. This was a long and tedious process and if there was no dry material around, it was nearly impossible to get a fire going. As a result, it was super important for families to keep a fire burning (or at very minimum, hot embers glowing) at all times, so a fire could be re-stoked at a moment's notice for heat, cooking, or anything else they needed.
In those days, the families had a container called a brazier that was used to hold hot glowing coals that they would use to make a fire. This fire in the brazier was to always be kept burning.
However, life happens and there were times that the fire would go out and the family would wake to the coals being cold. It was their custom in that day that should their coals go out, a member of the family would take a empty brazier to a neighbor’s house to borrow some of their coals of fire.
It was the neighbor's moral obligation to give at least few burning coals to the needy person in order to help them sustain life. You see, fire was essential to their every day life. Without fire, there was no warmth, no light, no food, and no safety. So in their society, if a person was in need of hot coals, they were required to give them some.
Sure, there was the possibility that the neighbor could be stingy and give only a coal or two, but they were required by law to give the person in need something --
But if their neighbour were generous, they would "heap" their needy neighbour's brazier with piles of burning coals to help them easily rekindle the fire again in their home.
So, heaping the empty container plumb full with hot coals was a good deed just like feeding their enemy with food or giving them a drink. It was supplying a person's needs through love and generous giving.
People from Biblical times (as still do many of African and other tribal people today) carry most everything on their heads, jars of water, baskets of fruit and all kinds of food. It was their custom to carry the brazier filled with burning coals given to them by their neighbor unto their head. ( Don't worry, though, their head would not be burnt as they used another basket or cloth turban to insulate the heat from burning their head.) As they returned back home with their generous gift to sustain life from their neighbor, the path they traveled was better illuminated by the light from the fire kindled within the brazier.
Matthew 5:44 ---But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you
Jesus wants us to love one another and to pray for those who have hurt us. By doing this, we are providing an opportunity for the Lord to minister to them and hopefully, they will repent and if they do not know Jesus, then maybe they will come to know Him.
Just as fire is vital for our existence in the physical sense, it is also of great essence in the spiritual realm as well.
Even in the Old Testament, in the temple, there was to be a fire continuously burning upon the altar.
Leviticus 6:13 --The fire shall ever be burning upon the altar; it shall never go out.
Fire cleanses! Fire purifies! Fire sustains life!
By being kind to our enemies, we are giving them the very thing necessary to provide sustenance of life. We are giving the materials in which to rekindle the fire 🔥 in their hearts and homes again. What better gift is there than that??!
Romans 12:17-21 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. 20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
In the passage from Romans above, Paul, the author, was reiterating our text in Proverbs 25:21-22. When we feed our enemies by giving them food and drink, when we are kind even when they don't deserve it, when we give them good for the evil they have caused us, we are heaping coals of fire on their heads.
Paul admonishes is to never pay back evil with more evil. He encourages us to do things in such a way that everyone can see we are good and honorable. He tells us to do everything in our power (if at all possible) to live in a way that we can live in peace with everyone.
We should never take revenge on anyone. We should always leave that to God. "Vengeance is mine; I will repay" saith the Lord. --Don't worry! God is not going to let your enemies get away with doing evil forever. He is a just and orderly God. He will take care of things and settle the score at some point, but He is also a God of great mercy and will allow a "space of grace" in order for that person to come to the knowledge of the truth. Sometimes, He uses our good actions (our lack of REaction!) to illuminate their evil actions.
I don't care who you are, if you do something bad to someone, and they turn around and do something good for you in return, it will puzzle you. Why did they do that when I did this? It makes a person stop in their tracks and do a double take. God make us and He knows this about us. So, He gives us this opportunity to do good instead of evil to help the other person take a moment and reevaluate their own deeds and see their actions in the light of His love and mercy!
Unfortunately, I do acknowledge that not everyone will have a "come to Jesus" moment and see the error of their ways when we repay them with kindness in the face of meanness and straighten up immediately. God Himself knows us well enough to realize that everyone isn't going to do that, but He wants to us to try it because we never know which person it may work on. Wouldn't be great to know that by repaying good for evil, you were instrumental in helping another person rekindle the fire 🔥 in their life? That you were able to help them illuminate their own spiritual path??
As we referenced last week, Jesus, Himself, taught His own disciples to love their enemies and be a blessing to those undeserving of their mercy.
Matthew 5:43-45 ---43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
This is the loving nature and attribute of our heavenly Father! We are never more like God than when we are showing mercy to those who do not deserve it!
Matthew 5:48- Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
God is love. His love has been shed abroad in our hearts so that we may walk in HIS love. OUR actions speak Jesus ! When we are able to do this, it doesn't reflect on how great a person we are, but rather, how awesome He is!
It takes a heart surrendered to God in order to be this kind of person. It is unnatural for us to love those that hate us and try to hurt us and do evil to us. It goes against our own will to do right when we are confronted with evil. We want to lash out and hurt back, but by being full of the Spirit, we CAN repay evil with good. We can be kind in the face of malice. We can have a sweet disposition in the face of evil intentions.
We can love God, our neighbours, AND OUR ENEMIES!
By doing this, we become true vessels of mercy and are a blessing to those around us. By exemplifying His nature in our words and deeds, we become Jesus' hands and feet. He is able to be glorified by our actions. Sometimes, we may be the only Bible a person may ever read. Are we showing them Jesus?
So, to recap, we all have (or will have!) difficult people that we encounter in life, but it is really up to us how we deal with them. We can choose the carnal way like the world does and do evil for evil, or we can purpose in our hearts to do good! Our actions may be the very key to that person getting help and deliverance from the Lord.
Sure, we can be stingy and only give our "needy" neighbor a single "coal" or two out of obligation or we can pray through until we get the fire roaring in our own lives so we can be generous and "heap those coals of fire" upon that person in our lives that needs them the most!
Praying for the roaring fire in my life,
Tiphanie 🔥