Very early on in our marriage, a preacher friend of our pastor’s gave him a “wife” book that his own wife had read. He said that the book was highly instrumental in changing some of the dynamics in his own marriage and the preacher friend, having benefited from his own wife reading it and applying it, was eager to pass it on and share it with others. So, our pastor gave it to me, a young wife, to read.
Whoa!! Talk about LIFE CHANGING!!
Being a newlywed, I had yet to really “mess up” too bad as a wife—being married was still very new to me!! I am ever so grateful that God allowed that book to fall into my hands, especially as early in our marriage as He did!! Being a young wife, I recognized I had much to learn! I wanted to be a Godly wife!! As I read through the pages of the book, I begin to absorb the material like a sponge. I was smart enough to know that if I could be humble and apply the Biblical teachings that the author brought out in that book, I had the potential to build a wonderful foundation for my new home. I knew that I wanted to be a wife whose husband’s heart could safely trust in her. My desire was to be that kind of woman! I read and re-read the book. I took notes!! I followed up with a lot of Bible study on my own. I searched out how God wanted a marriage to work— As a wife, I wanted to know all I could on how I could help fulfill God’s purpose and plan in my marriage.
That “wife” book was just the beginning—the spring board for all of that searching.
While I realize it was written by just a mere lady (please don’t fall out with me here— I doubt she isn’t even pentecostal holiness by denomination…I think she might be some form of independent holiness baptist or something), but I can truly sit here and say that God used that book to change my life and to change the course of our marriage. I am confident that our marriage would not look like it does today if I hadn’t read that book. It challenged me!! It intrigued me!! It provoked such a response in my heart that I began to pursue after God’s wisdom to be a Godly help meet for my husband. It stirred a deep hunger to learn more!! To be the best ME I could be!! Yes, — for you naysayers😜, I realize it is just a book written by a woman. I know the Bible is the ultimate “road map”! but her book compiles all information together in one easy to read and easy to understand format. (Especially for a young wife!!) It is full of Scripture reference and God’s instruction and eye opening explanations (even to identifying the type of husband you have and how to best relate to him…)
As with any source or reference (outside the actual Bible-it’s a definite absolute! ), there may or may not be some little things you don’t agree with the author on personally, your opinion may look different on something, or your approach to a topic may deviate, but overall, her book was so full of instruction, Bible references, and wisdom for me—a young wife who was hungry to “do it right!!”
While I know there are women out there who are set in their ways and think they do not need to improve as a wife, or simply do not care to fulfull the role of a wife as defined by the Bible, if you are a wife who is sincerely wanting God’s favor in your home and you truly want to bless/help your husband, this book could be life changing for you as well — I HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend it!!
I have revisited “the book” on numerous occasion throughout our marriage. When I feel stressed, ungrateful, or unhappy as a wife,
re-reading the book will usually refocus me in no time ! Lol 😂 (conviction usually sets in on me after the first chapter! Tears, repentance, and humility soon follow!! Lol 😂 )
It is amazing to me how we wives often “set the tone” in our homes. One scripture I often refer to my writings is found in Proverbs 14:1 (if you a frequent reader, you may know it by now— if so, quote it with me!!) Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
As a young wife, ( and even now!)
That verse scared me!
Growing up, I observed
several not-very-Biblical women on a few different occasions. I saw how their “evil” countenance, lack of respect, and their selfish actions “plucked down” their homes!! I witnessed those women belittling their spouses, running them down in front of others, making fun of them, all the while, being loud and very opinionated (publicly) themselves. Other women would profess how they wished their husbands would become a leader and guide their homes spiritually— all the while, they were clueless that it was their own negative actions, lack of respect, and manipulation that caused their men to be such passive, henpecked, spineless cowards in the first place..
I determined right then (as a young girl!)
I never wanted to be THAT wife!! I knew this was not an example of God’s plan for marriage. I didn’t want to become a disrespectful, loud mouthed, negative, prideful, sassy woman with a sharp tongue!
I read where God said a meek and quiet spirit
was of a great price in His eyes.
The character of the Proverbs 31 woman held such an appeal to me!
I didn’t need the phony —the independence, the liberation, the self reliance, nor the casual intimacy of the modern day emancipated female being marketed by the worldly crowd.
I wanted the genuine!! I wanted to BE the true riches!!
Proverbs 31:10 —Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
In fact, one time, about the same time frame that I was so intensely studying all this material, a family member made a joke about my baby (who, at the time, had just found her voice and liked to chatter incessantly). The family member said, “yeah, she is loud just like her mama!” That statement, while spoken innocently in jest, cut me to the quick. I went home in tears. That was precisely the type of woman I never wanted to become! I had been working on becoming a Godly woman and I had been praying that God would give me a meek and quiet spirit! Then, that comment was made!! 😭
(The relative was quick to apologize, however, when they realized how their off handed comment had affected me. They didn’t really mean it like I had taken it. I was just overly sensitive due to my awareness from all my studies. I was trying my hardest to never have that reputation so I mistakenly took their comment personal. I quickly accepted their apology, explained why I reacted the way I did, and the issue was over—promptly resolved.🙌🏻)
So anyway, I truly wanted to be the right kind of wife, so, when the seed (of God’s design for marriage and the role of a Godly wife) was sowed in my life, it fell on good ground, sprang up, and bore good fruit!! ( I’m still re-sowing, and reaping bountiful harvests from those initial seeds!!)
Don’t get me wrong! I’m definitely not sitting boasting in myself! No, ma’am!! Not for an instant! I’m still 100% human! I’m far from perfect! I’m emotional at times, I get stressed just like the next person! I mess up! I make mistakes! I say the wrong things! I have a bad attitude sometimes! But when my countenance begins to change, it isn’t long until I realize I have lost my focus. I never want to allow myself to drift too far. After all these years, I still DO NOT WANT to be that loud, selfish, and prideful woman! I constantly have to return to the altar of God’s mercies for a daily dose! God’s ways are still RIGHT!!
The Bible way still works!!
So, I wanted to share it with you guys—Here is the book that influenced me so greatly. Created to be a Help Meet by Debi Pearl… (link down below) If you can’t afford to purchase it right now, check with your local library or even your library’s digital lending apps (My Library has it digitally on the app Hoopla) Of you prefer digital books, it can be found on Audible and Chirp and many other platforms. You can sometimes even find it used on eBay or at thriftbooks.com
I highly recommend it for any wife! (But especially for young wives!! If you can start your marriage right by behaving wisely and following Biblical wifely counsel, you can avoid a lot of the pitfalls the enemy tries to set in our marriages. You can really set the trajectory of your home! Sometimes, we as wives, completely underestimate the power we possess in our homes! We can set the tone by our attitudes toward our husbands. More respect toward the man = more love from him towards us!
If you read it with an open mind, a teachable spirit, and a humble heart, I believe the truth of God’s Word can do the same for you and your marriage as well. I am firmly convinced if you earnestly desire a better way of life, God will, indeed, show it to you if you seek Him!!
Created to be His Help Meet
by Debi Pearl
Happy Reading!!
-Tiphanie ❤️
EXTRA RESOURCES:
There is also a guy (husband) version https://www.amazon.com/dp/1616440368/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_api_glt_fabc_EBM2918J8XTVBJEJNHGC My husband has read this book and he highly recommends the husband version as well. One idea is to buy both books or download the audio versions and read them separately and then discuss the topics together as a couple as a Biblical marriage study. You may be surprised at the results!!
(The books are very compatible together since a lot of the same topics/ideas are discussed in both books so they will work great for this idea of a couples’ study.)
There is also a premarital book for young women as well—Preparing to be a Help Meet https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0041D846E/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_api_glt_TCPJ5M7E65D5771EJ37N
It is so good! If you are a young lady that is coming of marriage-able age, learning how to build a good foundation and preparing to become a wife in advance is a wonderful way to bless your future husband and your future home!!
Here is some of the other reviews the wife book, Created to be His Help Meet, has received if you would like to review other people’s opinions as well…
This is a tough book. The principles are great to follow; however, it's tough to follow as our human desires will want to naturally rebel. I feel like it gave me an understanding of who my husband was, what I was up against, and a platform to be successful. The question is, was I willing to act accordingly.
I have read this book many times. It never fails to encourage me to be thankful and joyful for being a help meet. I especially like the section called "To Love their Husbands". I didn't realize how important being intimate (happily and willingly - not begrudgingly) with our husbands is. I find it strange that this current society puts so much pressure and expectation on mothers to do everything they can to make sure their children's lives are happy, and fulfilled, but it is not the case when it comes to a husband. By being the best wife I can be, I am making myself, my husband and my children happy and fulfilled. Being a help meet is Kingdom work. Why it took me reading this wonderful book to figure this out, only God knows;)
I was given this book early on in my marriage and it has been THE best biblically sound teaching I have found on being a wife! It truly has saved our marriage many times over! I’ve read it several times and given many many of these away to as many wives as will take it! So thankful for this book!
This book teaches the opposite of what the world teaches. Rest can be found in submission, and one does not need to leave one's brain or personality behind to do so. It takes far more self control, and the fruit can be rest and joy
Amazing book! Saved my marriage! This book is VERY much biblical! I love how she is a straight shooter! Too many softies find this book offensive. Well the word of God is offensive! Debi sticks to real biblical principals not the watered down stuff you get from apostate churches. If you are a strong woman of God looking for help to be a better wife and save a marriage on the brink I HIGHLY recommend this book!
My absolute favorite marriage book of all time! I’ve read so many marriage books on being a good wife, and this one far surpasses them all. If you want to know, truly know, how to have a glorious marriage, read this book. I have read it several times. My husband picked it up one time and told another person that whatever I read in that book, works! :)
This book has helped me so much in my marriage than I ever thought! I love and cherish this book. It's full of wisdom. I am so glad God put this book in my life!
I hesitated reading this book for a while because of all of the bad reviews, I am so glad I did. I already saw myself as a submissive wife and helpmeet, I realized how far I am missing the mark after reading this book. Ordered on paperback because I plan to reference it daily, thanks so much for speaking the truth even when it's hard to hear! Highly recommended reading for all women, regardless of age and marital status.
This book is biblical, convicting and really shows how magnificent it is to be a help meet. The purpose of a wife is an incredible honor and duty and this book helps you understand the practical ways to live this out. It’s filled with scripture and stories from the Bible that show how powerful being a true help meet is.
I bought this book shortly after getting married, and I absolutely love it. This book challenges women to be the strong, capable and gracious helpers we've been called to be as wives. If you're having a bad day and just hate your husband in the moment for whatever reason, just pull this book out and read a few chapters, it will help you to get your mind in the right place and your priorities straight so that you can work towards a happier, better marriage. This book has changed my home life for the better. My husband and I both have benefited greatly from this
Created to be His Help Meet
by Debi Pearl