Disclaimer:
I know the subject of finances is a touchy subject for some people. I do not wish to offend anyone nor am I trying to give anyone any professional financial advice. I certainly am not an expert. This is just our own personal story that we decided to share.
I recognize each family and situation is different. I am not trying to tell you that my husband and I are perfect in our management of finances or insinuate that we have it all together now because we don’t —we are still learning on our journey! But God has done a mighty work in our home in this area... We give all the praise and glory to Him for the lessons He has taught us.
We want to be humble, transparent, and honest in sharing our experiences. We want to share our struggles in hopes that, maybe by reading about our own troubles/subsequent victories in this area, perhaps God will use our experience to help/encourage someone else in a similar situation. You are NOT alone!!
Or maybe, you are just starting out your home and in that case, perhaps you can avoid some of the pitfalls that we had to encounter... I know sometimes in life, God does allows us to go through things so then, we can turn around and help others through their own similar struggles. If by sharing the lessons we have learned and by telling our story, God can help someone —that would make it worth it all to us !
I know in today’s world, we are being fed this instant gratification mindset—If you want it, get it!! You deserve it!! With little to no regard if it is a wise financial decision. We are constantly bombarded by marketing, advertisements, offers of credit, etc.! It seems everybody is vying for a chunk of our paycheck ...Society makes it appears that being in debt and being fully extended financially is just what “adulting” is about !! It’s completely normal !
We have been there! You are NOT alone!! After a rude awakening that got our attention, God begin to deal with us that we don’t have to live a life so financially bound.
Like I said before, we sure don’t claim to be an experts by any means. There is no “one way is the best way!” Or “our way is the only way that works...” Each family/situation is different. Just read our story and take whatever principles that may benefit you, and toss the rest if necessary.
With that being said, let’s get started ....
When we first started our home, we weren’t very wise when it came to managing money and trying to budget our finances correctly. (Very few young couples are, I suppose.)
Don’t get me wrong—My mom was great at teaching me to do a written budget. She was always a very organized person and she could budget this and budget that and she would put money back here and there for their upcoming bills and expenses. I, on the other hand, wasn’t that great with money management despite her trying her best to teach me her way of doing it. I did a written budget time and time again but we still seemed to struggle financially.
(We now realize what the problem was— it wasn’t the written budget or our plan — it was that our spending wasn’t correlating to what our income was.)
If you haven’t read the post, “Quit living someone else’s life—https://tiphaniesizemore.wixsite.com/mysite/post/quit-living-someone-else-s-life, go read that post first in order to get the background story of what event completely changed the course of our lives.
After that life changing event, (for the sake of longevity, I don’t want to rehash that!!)— My husband and I knew what we were currently doing wasn’t working. We had some very hard talks and came to some life changing conclusions.
We were tired of always living paycheck to paycheck. We were tired of always getting in a financial mess every time something went wrong/broke or when there was short checks due to weather or whatever else popped up.
My husband was a such hard worker yet, we never seemed to be able to get ahead!
After the event (again, please go read the other post to understand better), I was very humbled as well. Before that incident, I had always taken care of the finances myself and just told my husband what we needed to do financially or how much money we had left in the bank. He was always busy and he accepted this as an easy solution—that I would be in charge of everything.
After that incident, though, everything had to change! My husband started listening to a financial guru on the radio. We decided to buy his program (Financial Peace University!! https://www.ramseysolutions.com/ramseyplus/financial-peace Highly recommend it!!)
We desperately needed help for us to “win with our money!” This program was from a Biblical standpoint which was an added benefit for us because we wanted the Lord to be pleased with our home first and foremost.
His program was completely life changing for us. A lot of people do not agree with his ideology, and I totally get that! To some people, it is a little extreme but I’m telling you, if you follow even half of his teachings, you will become a better steward of your finances—God’s money.
He teaches that the husband and wife both jointly handle the finances. This adds accountability and also teaches you to work together as a team. This was very helpful for us! We started having Friday night meetings. We started making weekly budgets instead of just monthly ones. We started paying attention to where our money was actually going...We soon realized one of our financial problems— Our little purchases were adding up quickly!!
A little purchase of $7 at the dollar store,
$5 at the gas station, $12 at the drive-thru, $37 at Walmart, and $6 at the local discount store. Just these hypothetical, seemly small, insignificant purchases add up to $67. WOW! 😩 I could spend make all of those purchases in a single day if I was out running errands ! (If I did this a few times a month, there could be easily $150 dollars or more simply wasted because I didn’t spend my money with intention!)
So, that was the first thing that we saw that had to go — unnecessary purchases !! Does that mean I could never go shopping again? or I could never pick up something at the store that wasn’t preplanned? Absolutely not!! Instead, we actually budgeted a miscellaneous fund in our weekly budget plan for all those extra purchases. We had, say $20 a week at first, budgeted for all those extra, small purchases that I was already used to making. Yes, it did cut down on the amount I bought all at once, and the frequency, but I still got to enjoy a day out running errands and on occasion, I could pick up something extra for the kids or myself. When I had spent that allotted money for that week, I was done until the next payday.
Another main principle the program advocated was to have an emergency fund saved up. If you have a cash fund in place, there is no need to use a credit card for emergencies (that could possibly cause you terrible anguish and heartache later, if not used properly) After the incident, we “did a little plastic surgery” and cut up and canceled our credit card. 😮🤭-This made certain that we HAD to have a cash emergency fund in place because we had no backup —no crutch! The program recommend you start with $1000. This seemed like a huge amount to us. Remember, we were living from paycheck to paycheck!! How were we going to save $1000 ? We didn’t even have an extra $20!! Surprisingly, the Lord took care of it for us. He opened up a door for my husband to do some side work. We soon had the required $1000 saved.
The program then advises to build up that savings until you have 3-6 months of complete living expenses (that is adding your bills, groceries, gas, etc) This is to make sure should you, God forbid, lose your job or become temporarily sick and unable to work, your family will be okay for several months while you look for other employment or recuperate.
Again, we were amazed at how the Lord opened door after door for us to build up that savings. We no longer felt anxious about not having a crutch (a.k.a a credit card) to fall back on in case of emergencies. We completely gave Him control of our finances and we tried to become better stewards of His money that He allows us to manage and He, in turn, taught us how to become wiser in our approach to money.
I remember the first big, expensive thing that broke after we had our emergency fund in place. It was so amazing to not feel stress or anxiety at all. My husband simply handed me several hundred dollars and said “Go replace it!” Wow! Talk about freeing!! We didn’t have to fret how we were going to swing it or borrow money from someone or the bank, or charge it in hopes that soon money would miraculously appear to cover it!! That’s the moment I was 100% sure, we had made the right decision!!
At first, especially in the beginning, it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t a quick fix!! It took us a lot of hard work, patience with each other, intention and willpower to stick with it! but slowly, we began to “get it”...
We learned financial success wasn’t about how much money we actually made. ( It was about how wisely we manage the money we do have!)
Previously, we always thought we could do better financially and get ahead if my husband just had better job! While that sounds right in theory, it actually isn’t. If we aren’t wisely managing the money we already have, and we allow ourselves to develop bad money habits, simply having more money isn’t going to change those flaws in us! Having a better income won’t automatically make us better money managers or change our bad money habits—we will just make more unwise choices and waste more money. That’s why you see rich people with good, well paying jobs struggling to make ends meet—fully stretched financially—It’s not the issue of not making enough money...it is the issue of managing our money wisely!
One of the biggest ways I, myself, was able to contribute, as a stay home mom, to remedying our situation was by meal planning (I wrote a blogpost all about that! Go check it out! https://tiphaniesizemore.wixsite.com/mysite/post/preparation-meal-planning) By being intentional in my planning, I was able to stick to my budget more easily. If you don’t have a plan, and you just walk into the grocery store and start piling your cart full of whatever looks good, I can promise you— it is way harder to stay on budget!! (Here’s an extra :🤚🏼handy tip: never, ever go shopping hungry!! 😳 Not a good idea!! Lol 😂 ) Groceries are expensive nowadays and in order to keep on budget, the best way to plan your meals!!
Walmart Delivery/ Walmart Pickup has been a lifesaver to our budget. I add stuff to my list on the Walmart app throughout the week when I run out of items or when I sit and plan our upcoming meals. On payday, I place my online order and I only buy the stuff I truly need. Yes, I still buy the kids a special treat or their favorite snack but I don’t overbuy! By not being in the actual store physically shopping, I completely avoid impulse buys...Being just intentional in this area of our budget has drastically improved our finances!!
——-—Stay tuned for part 2 tomorrow
(This article was huge so I split it up into 3 parts to run consecutively each day for the next 3 days: I hope that way, it is easier to follow. Like I said above -it is my prayer that our experiences can be helpful to someone in similar situations or perhaps just starting out your home... Like I also previously mentioned, I firmly believe that sometimes in life, God does allow us to go through things so then, we can turn around and help others through their own similar struggles. I pray that by sharing some of the lessons we have learned (often the hard way! 🤦🏼♀️) and by sharing by our own story (and how God helped us in this area!), God can help someone!! Maybe He can use our story for His Glory!! Helping even one family would be well worth it all to us !
I would love for our trials to be turned into “testimonies for His Glory!!”
-Tiphanie ❤️
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